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May 21 2018





“they’re just little kids let them win at mario ka-”


“it’s not fai-”


I was raised by a man who would NEVER let anyone win.  It was like, against his religion.

You won for real or not at all.

Maybe that’s partially why I am not a snivelly liberal.

May 20 2018

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ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

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Memes but with the wrong caption




I’m not sorry.

I love all of these can we start using them?


mood: i want to read a story exactly like one of my favorite stories i’ve read a thousand times but not THAT story because i’ve read it a thousand times and i want to read a new one but it should be exactly like this one.

May 19 2018


me: logs into my google account

google all up in my email: BITCH??? THE FCUK IS YOU HACKED???

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rocket got a new skill (。◕∀◕。)






The Four Elemental Power Walks





my favorite thing about this is that each of them is walking in a different direction, it’s like these girls are off to conquer the entire goddamn world

They’re gonna meet in the middle

In the middle they will find the avatar, master of all elements and the force:





I just accidentally invented a new idiom, maybe?

Licking a tree & hoping for maple syrup.” 

aka “A attempt at resolving/achieving something with less effort than is required for success, & a high probability of it proving merely futile & faintly unpleasant’

I can support this as a turn of phrase.

I think you’ve really tapped into something here.

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I threw a dog on the ground today 😭😭😭

I am embarrassed by how hard this made me laugh.

…..does this mean cat people hurl cats at the ground?

you just kind of… open ur arms and they sort themselves out. if you try and place them down they get mad and wiggle and make everything worse

May 18 2018

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May 17 2018





I mean how can you not love Mads Mikkelsen. He

  • met his wife while playing a drag queen
  • spent the whole “Clash of the Titans” clusterfuck trolling Sam Worthington
  • gives zero fucks about society’s expectation of what famous actors should behave like
  • can wear the shit out of a suit, but prefers sportswear
  • knows he is made of cheekbones. accepts it. uses it to his advantage
  • went into dancing to score with dancers, stayed with it, went into acting after; two zero-guarantee careers right here and he made them work
  • is always, always nice to fans. 
  • ships hannigram harder than Bryan Fuller.
  • is so fucking talented. seriously. SO fucking talented. he’s a fucking national treasure in Denmark.
  • threw serious shade at Lars Von Trier, and it was amazing.

also, he

  • has never seen a Star Wars movie and didn’t even realize how big being in one would be.
  • also probably had no idea how big a Marvel movie would be.
  • still went with doing both because he got really well paid got to do air kung-fu and shit.
  • joined one of the most highly anticipated video games ever without understanding anything about the plot and/or video games. 
  • went salsa dancing with his Hannibal co-stars, director, and showrunner, despite saying he doesn’t dance in public anymore.
  • did a Con and got drunk with a bunch of furries.
  • also got onstage with a screamo band (during the same Con?) and shot toilet paper at the pit.
  • wears every flower crown he’s ever been given. it’s like a thing. sometimes wears two at the same time.
  • once wore a pink “rosé over bitches” sweatshirt while completely smashed and it was great.
  • proudly played the ‘Bitch’ in Rihanna’s Bitch Better Have My Money video and didn’t get why it was such a big deal.
  • avoided major injury in a crash where he was sent flying from his motorcycle but managed to flip in midair and land perfectly on his feet.

Mads Mikkelsen is a centuries old immortal that doesn’t quite grasp the modern concept of celebrity, in this essay I will

May 16 2018

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stopped in the middle of my game just to make this

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someone: *threatens Lito*

Wolfie, showing up out of nowhere like an angry vengeful German fairy: my time has come

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May 15 2018





You know what the Green Heron is basically the best heron because it is like 90% neck so when it is all folded down it looks like a giant head with wings and legs


but then suddenly ZOOP


fucking green herrons

What the fuck

In case you need proof that animals can lie.




tbh the only evidence i need that harry’s a gryffindor is the fact that he kept going back to the forbidden forest after voldemort tried to kill him, aragog tried to eat him, lupin turned into a wolf and attacked him, the dementors tried to kiss him, barty crouch was murdered and turned into a bone, umbridge was kidnapped by centaurs,, boy had to die in that forest before he stopped going back

we have no evidence he stopped

Harry James Potter, deep in the forbidden forrest, fully aware of the centaur archers watch on him, followed by a string of spiders, the ghosts of death eaters killed in the battle of hogwarts circling his head as they wail for his blood: lovely day for a picnic


man. Remember the first time you watched Thor: Ragnarok (2017) Dir. Taika Waititi and hela asked thor ‘what were the god of again?’ and then it went to loki smirking and you KNEW something good was coming. And then immigrant song started to kick in and the LIGHTING started and you felt your SOUL leave your body and go to another plan of existance. Then Thor desending lighting and all onto that pile of aliens in slow motion looking goddamn RENAISSANCE painting? That moment changed me! the DRAMA! The rest of that scene? Valkyrie, Loki, and Hulk fighting together? Thor’s LIGHTING striking those aliens straight outta there like they were fucking ants? ICONIC! The iconic truly JUMPED out of that movie! Taika Waititi took my hand in that movie, told me it was all gonna be ok and then changed my life FOREVER! That was ART! Mr. Waititi thank you for my LIFE

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